What to do?

I'm not sure what Im supposed to do. This whole being homeless thing is getting old real fast. I'm not sure if I should try to move in with my mom in St. Louis or if I should try and find a roommate in Springfield and move up there. Or if I should just try to get another part time job and stay in Monett. I dont know what to do, I know going to my moms is not what I want to do, but I know I dont want to live in Monett so Springfield seems like my best bet for right now. My only issue is the money I would need to move in somewhere, not to mention finding another job when I get moved. I have also realized that school is over for me, I dont have internet so I cant do anything anyway. Thats all for now.


JoeLove out!

I'm at a loss

In my resent misery I have been doing alot of thinking, mostly about my life and friendships. I realize at times I am not the best friend I can be, although I do try to be. My life has been absolutely crazy for the last 4 months, and I dont know if I have ever been this stressed out. The whole Sara thing aside, my life is so complicated but I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself. I have been told I do that too much. I need to get my life together, I need to find a way to make my life work. I need to become a better friend. I need to find a place to stay then a place to live. Anyway, I'm not really sure if this blog made since to anyone but me but there it is.


JoeLove out!

Friends

So for the last 3 weeks my soon to be exwife has allowed me to sleep on her couch because I didnt have a place to go. I didnt have the money, and still dont, to get my own place. Making 7 dollars an hour is really helping my cause. But anyway, I appreciate what she has done for me for the last few weeks, I really do. I never asked to stay, she offered it to me. But now she has resended her offer and is kicking me out. Where I respect her desision, and respect that this is her house, I think that if she didnt want me here in the first place she shouldnt have told me I could stay. And she gave me a reason, which I dont nessisarily buy, but her reasons are her own. I feel really betrayed and like I have lost a good friend because of choices she has made resently. It all started because she has a new boyfriend, and she doesnt want him to know how she has helped me, which I understand, she just could have went about it differently. Beki has been there for me ALOT, and I am very grateful for it. But I guess I was wrong about how strong I thought our friendship was. Friends dont just turn thier back on you, but she did. For what ever her real reasons are, I feel totaly tossed aside and like we had a diposible friendship. Then, on top of everything, she then acts as if she is conserned about where Im gonna go and what Im gonna do. I feel if she was really conserned she wouldnt have kicked me out in the first place and thrown our friendship away. I have done this way too much with my "friends" over the last year. So I say FUCK all you people that just throw friendships away for no aparent reasons.


JoeLove out!

Homeless again!

So due to circumstances entirely beyond my control, I am once again homeless. For any of you that may care. I find myself not having any friends that do care. But such is life, and i will survive. At least I think I will. Its hard not having a place to live, but its harder not having someone who cares if you do or not. I have a very pathetic exsistance where I literally have no friends. I have no one right now in my life I can count on, NO ONE! But Im trying not to throw myself a pitty party, but its hard not too. I'll get through it on my own, I always do.


JoeLove out!

Love and philosophy

So due to recent events I spent alot of time thinking about love and wiether it accually exsisted. I'm talking about romantic love, not the love you have for family or your kids. I went around for about 2 weeks knowing that love did not exsist, or at least thinking it didn't. I finally came to realize that love does exsist, just not in the way most people think it does. I feel that love was created by God to be an unconditional thing, thats the way he loves so thats how love is supposed to be. Thats what God meant love to be. Most relationships end because someone did something wrong or someone was unhappy. They said they loved eachother but if your love is based on what the other person does, its conditional. I feel that no matter what, if you have a true love for someone it doesnt matter what that person does you won't just throw them aside, thats unconditional love. The key is to find someone who loves you unconditionally too. Thats the trick, it's hard, nearly impossible. I'll blog some more on this topic later. I hope I made you think about your love life and how you feel about the person you "LOVE"


JoeLove out!

It's been a long time...

So I have been without internet for about a month so I havent been able to blog. But know I'm back, and boy do i have so stuff to talk about! I have some new insights on life, love, and just things in general. Alot of things have changed in the last month and in due time I will discuss them. But for now, I'm gonna go.


JoeLove out!